In this blogpost I will write about how I experienced the ascending of my true Purpose.

The journey begins.

During my “recovery” or my “human revolution” as it’s called in my Buddhist practice I have traveled an unknown path for a long time in my life. I was lost in alcohol and other addictions, I was divorced, I was fired, I felt like a stranger to myself and I felt broken.

Since then have been reading tons of self-help books, participated in many men’s workshops and men’s groups and courses. I have practiced Nishiren Buddhism for many years. I have been to thousands of AA meetings and done the 12 step program several times. All good things and they were all powerful tools and stepping stones on my “getting my life back journey”.

Then I met the Inner Throne program and things started to happen on a deeper level. I began connecting the dots and I let them unite and work in synergy.

The journey continues.

First of all I had to get a clear overview of my life and how things work.

I had a mental programming installed by my parents and my surroundings and I had my own strategy to cope with myself and my feelings. Actually it was a mess and I didn’t knew. I lived my life as if I was addicted to turmoil and indecisiveness.

I used almost all my powers to push decisions in front of me for fear of taking them seriously.

My whole purpose was to avoid being revealed as a jerk and a poser. I had become a people and a women’s pleaser and a manipulator without a personal foundation and meaning to my life. I don’t know how it felt because I numbed myself out all the time. Drinking, blaming, disrespecting and lying to myself and others.

I was lost and stuck in the shadow aspect of the Lover and the Magician but I didn’t know. I had given up my throne and my sovereignty to the wasteland of my dreams and fantasies. I had to clear out the throne and reclaim my authentic masculine power. Like Gandalf I didn’t have the power to hold on to the bridge and the abyss embraced me as I fell.

This I realized during the Inner Throne Rite of passage together with Eivind and the men in the tribe.

The journey gets harder.

I had to face my different and overlapping addictions and procrastination habits.

  • Seeking validation and angling for Facebook likes.
  • Blame game with my x-wife and the society.
  • Feeling sorry for myself.
  • Depress and down-talk myself.
  • Stress myself out and complaining about it.
  • Procrastinate what I knew had to do.

The Balrog was on my back all the time. We were intimate.

The peak of the journey and the view widens.

I faced these habits and my well internalized denial pattern. I worked on the exercises and shared my concern in my triad and in the forum. I was eaten by Vargs and I sliced up and cut down the mental pictures of my weaknesses. I cried out my grief and embraced my feelings of being good.

I got more clarity and regained my mental, emotional and physical power. I got back in control.

Actually I felt brave and victorious. It was like the opening of a reservoir of pure masculine power and I dared to feel into it. I even felt into my grief and the shame that kept me stuck in the past. Now I can feel happiness on the same level as my ability to feel grief and shame.

The view widens and the world opened its heart as I opened my heart.

Ascending of my true purpose.

The training made all the missing pieces come together and as I used my Buddhist practice as my higher power the guiding light ascended like a sun in my heart.

This transformation made me wake up to my mission to serve the world to a better place. It was no longer about me, my story and my misery. I have been working as a men’s coach and mentor for many years but mostly from a level of disrespecting myself and feeling good about helping other men. I felt brave like a martyr.

Now I feel grounded in myself and my truth and I have become a better man’s coach.

My sovereignty and my Inner Throne

This is not a bravado statement from me to get some recognition and validation but from a voice behind my open heart to your true masculine heart. I feel deeply in contact with my mission to serve men to more happiness. I wish for you to take the journey together with us and reclaim your inner throne and change the world. You are most welcome and you are most needed.

Karl-Otto Sandvik.
Men’s coach and mentor