Living truthfully is hard. Yet if you are a man who wants to respect and value yourself, you need to tell and live the truth.
To the very best of your ability.
Now, if all we were talking about here is ceasing conscious deception, it wouldn’t be so hard. As far as I can tell, only truly wretched people lie consciously. For the rest of us, our lies happen below the threshold of our conscious mind; and our lies often fool even ourselves.
We lie because we don’t know better.
We lie because we don’t know ourselves, and we don’t know the world.
So we think nothing of it. How could we? We don’t know it’s happening!
Unfortunately for you and me, even the unconscious lie has destructive effects.
In Reclaim your Inner Throne, we see it again and again: A man comes close to the threshold of change; then just as he gets close to a breakthrough, and his current identity comes under threat, a whole arsenal of automatic and very powerful strategies of deception are initiated to keep the man stuck in his shit.💩
That’s no discredit to these particular men – we all do this. (and with commitment, he will pull through into a new reality – just ask Tim Dienes, an RYIT legend in his own right)
We do it because identity structures are who we know ourselves to be, and even if they are absolutely destroying us, it feels like who we are.
In other words, if you are an entirely miserable man, happiness feels like dying.
So when you feel good, you will fabricate the means by which your happiness is destroyed, and you will call it fate (to paraphrase a famous Carl Jung quote).
So as I’m sure you can imagine, lying, even when done unconsciously, has negative impact on our lives.
So let’s get to it: What are the 3 reasons to stop lying?
💪 REASON #1: Reclaim your Self-Worth 💪
Having worked closely with men for almost 5 years now, one of the deepest and most painful recurring themes I observe is a lack of self-respect and self-worth.
Yet the men who struggle typically find it hard to share their struggles with the world.
Biologically conditioned to be strong, competitive and successful, opening up about feeling like a failure may feel like a suicide mission in the social hierarchies that we are all part of.
So then a man is stuck. (like I once was)
Sometimes a man has understood the value of honesty, learned to articulate and conceptualize what seems to be the truth of his life, but he hasn’t yet developed the capacity to vulnerably incarnate that truth.
This is a very frustrating place to be – from here you can share vulnerable words about the ways you’re lying to yourself, but nothing changes because your heart, gut and cock don’t tag along for the journey.
In essence, even though you are TELLING the truth, you aren’t LIVING it, so nothing changes; you still don’t like yourself.
In any case, to reclaim your self-worth, you must fully embody your recognition of “failure”. You haven’t made it work given your current strategies, and you never will.
You pause, stop lying, and give up.
And as you embody that “defeat”, you reach the foundation of your being, from where you can speak and act a different you into being.
A man who is congruent and honest.
A man who realizes that he cannot do it alone, and that owning his flaws is the gateway to his power.
👪 REASON #2: Attract better People into your Life 🙂
We see in others what lives unacknowledged in ourselves.
So when we lie – and are unable to realize or admit it – we begin to see other people as dishonest.
We judge people for the very qualities we dislike in ourselves.
Furthermore, since dishonesty is what is familiar to us, we tend to gravitate towards the very kinds of people we dislike.
We surround ourselves with people of lesser character.
You will realize one miserable morning that most of your friends are people you don’t trust and who don’t trust you.
Were you to be honest about what you see, they would freak out and leave you, and this scares you. And so since you haven’t developed courage yet, you continue the dramas of deceit that provide that twisted sense of togetherness.
Stepping fully onto the path of truth may thus force some of the people you thought were friends to leave your life.
They cannot tolerate that you are forcing them to look honestly at themselves, and all of their wretched and miserable qualities (which none of us are free of).
As you incarnate the Truth in your life, you start showing up on the radar of people with great character, and entirely new doors of opportunity open up.
You attract better people into your life.
👑 REASON #3: Weave a new World into Being👑
When you start to incarnate Truth in your life, you become a special kind of wonderful.
Having faced the tremendous vulnerability of stepping into the fires of Truth, you have become a man of character.
You have reclaimed your self-worth and started surrounding yourself with wonderful, trustworthy people.
You have now arrived at a level of reality that few people reach – or even aspire to. And as you move through the world, comfortable with your gifts and flaws both, you become a different kind of man.
You become a man that others will naturally gravitate towards. They want what you got. And now, just by having faced the demons of your own life, you become a leader.
A leader who is loved by the people and who lives a truthful life of integrity is still, unfortunately, a relatively rare thing in this world.
Become that man, and weave a new world into being.
This is by no means an exhaustive list.
And if you want to go deeper into exploring how stepping into Truth can change your life, you are warmly welcome to our webinar The Time for Truth: Embracing the masculine Path to Freedom on Sunday at 7pm CET, 2pm EST.
We’re having fun putting this one together, and I think you’ll enjoy it.