As I work with men, I see recurring patterns. And lately, one pattern has become very loud.
Ready for a challenging read? Then let’s continue.
The vast majority of men who arrive at the doorstep of Reclaim your Inner Throne are disempowered. They are beautiful men, though for the most part they are afraid to be visible, stand for something, draw the line, risk rejection.
This seems to be symptomatic of a more general trend of men in our culture becoming increasingly powerless in their lives.
So many of us have lost touch with the desire for heroic service that once was painted as an ideal to aspire to in our culture.
Having for the most part rejected the templates of traditional masculinity, Western culture (men in Reclaim your Inner Throne are typically from the Western world) has failed to provide relevant templates of male power to replace them.
As a result, there is now as far as I can see literally NO widely shared and accepted model of what healthy male power looks like available in our culture.
As a consequence, many men are adrift in a sea of meaninglessness and fear, pursuing simple comforts that never deliver much of anything. And if my eyes aren’t deceiving me, it seems that most of us fucking hate it. We hate being weak. Because we know more is possible.
If you know what I’m talking about, raise your hand!
So let’s just call a spade a spade and acknowledge that many men have lost touch with their inner Warrior energy (the reasons for which I won’t go into here).
And to compensate – and this is where I hope you will really perk up and listen – they become judgmental, passive-aggressive, resentful and arrogant. And often, they start disliking and distrusting other men.
(yes, I have lived through much of this myself)
This kind of attitude has become more widespread in our culture and has infiltrated the minds of many (even some men I personally work with are recovering from it). And it honestly makes me really sad to see men look at their own gender, deeming it ugly.
Now first of all, a man who dislikes, distrusts – or even hates – men (as a group) is poisoning his own drinking water. He is hacking his roots apart. He is demonizing his very nature and deeming it noble.
Such a man, at odds with his biology and exiled from his healthy access to power, has no choice but to become resentful and arrogant. Because to him, that feels like power. Charged thoughts and resentful words that paint others in a negative light can FEEL LIKE POWER.
But it isn’t power. Not even close.
These are the men that can’t shut up complaining about the patriarchy, about men’s abuse of women, of the terrors of capitalism and Western imperialism.
And while all of those are deserving of complaints, what these men don’t realize is that those are just scapegoat terms. The true battle this man is waging is one of keeping his inner Warrior – his instincts and biology – repressed.
And little does he know that by rebelling against and complaining about all of these things – from a place of shadow – he is FEEDING the very beast he wants to get rid of.
It’s now deemed noble to “fight the system”.
Yet as far as I can tell, there’s no better way to support a system than to fight it. Remember the saying “what you resist persists”?
This is how you change the world: You create a better system and inspire people to adopt it!
The problem is that this requires a man to be responsible, to be brave, to be a leader and a Warrior. And it’s just a little bit easier to complain, is it not?
And so as I pursue my mission of waking up ONE MILLION MEN to become agents of change in my lifetime, I realize that this is the greatest battle I have to fight: Hearing men complaining about capitalism and seeing it as more noble than making money that they can serve the world with.
Hearing men complain about patriarchy rather than challenge and help a brother change his life, so that he becomes able to share powerful and authentic love rather than hurtful words and physical abuse.
Hearing men complain about the destruction of the environment while remaining too fearful or downright lazy to do anything to protect it.
Here’s the deal: You cannot become a good man without integrating the Warrior. It’s ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.
At best, you’ll be a good-hearted, depressed man adrift in life. At worst you’ll be a naive, self-serving and conniving little asshole that walks the planet talking shit about others while contributing nothing but grief yourself.
See, this is a serious matter, Brothers. This matters so much.
Men are so amazing. The things which live inside of us are absolutely remarkable.
And as patterns go, this rejection of the Warrior needs to end, because were you to not successfully integrate his power, you will be a causing problems in this world by default.
And as incredible as you are, Brother, that would be a heck of a waste of a lifetime.
Now, go make it happen and kick some ass ?